The second part of the skill is learning to reflect back what you heard the person saying. Paraphrasing and repeating back what you heard allows the person to know you have been listening. It keeps clarity in conversation and allows for overall better communication. This is also a skill that requires some practice. Here are a few tips.
Whether you are in contact with your children, boss, husband, wife or significant others,
these tools are valuable. For the next week or so try to exercise these new skills. Observe what happens when you listen and respond in an empathic manner instead of with advice, opinion or judgments. Make a note of the new interaction and compare it with your old way of listening or not listening. Observe their manner- are they calmer, more appreciative? What do you notice?
We all have a need to be listened to and understood. Most of us grew up with not enough of the focused attention we need. As a result we are all a little deprived, that is why so many of us want to talk and talk and talk. Listening is something that we just don't know how to do. In fact, we are uncomfortable with being quiet and still.
I suggest to you that if you practice, you will benefit in many ways. All of your relationships will dramatically improve. You will find that you will gain a greater ability to listen to yourself and you may find that others more readily give you time and attention. What we need from others we must be willing to give to them as well. Be patient, praise yourself for your efforts (don't wait for others to praise you), and watch your skill grow.
by: www.familycorner.com
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